On Being Normal
If one spends too much time on the internet they will find themselves come across the phrase, or at least a variation of the phrase, “just be normal”. This sounds like a perfectly reasonable command. Being normal is good, and expected from a civilized and mature person. However, there is a fault with such a thing: what does it mean to be normal?
Normal, as the internet, or really, the world, would put it is just your average, run-of-the-mill person. They do not buck the trends or breach the status quo. They find themselves complying with social norms and expectations, and they do their best not to make a ruckus wherever they are.
Does this seem right? Is this all one must do to be normal?
In the Catholic world especially “being normal” is a trait begged for from ministry leaders and others. Their hope, of course, is that the people coming to events, or applying for volunteer positions, are normal, and not weirdos. How many young adult events have you been to where there was one or two (or a few) people who seemed just a bit off? How can the Church effectively evangelize if all we get are people who are not normal? Once more we need to ask: what is normal?
Dietrich von Hildebrand wrote a great book by the title Liturgy and Personality. In it he goes over, well, liturgy and personality. And in one section he dedicates a couple paragraphs to a key distinction that needs to be made before one approaches the topic of normalcy: being normal versus being average.
The normal man, as I described above, would only be considered a part of the group known to von Hildebrand as the average man. A normal man is not your average man, and your average man is typically anything but normal. Why is this? Because to be “normal” according to von Hildebrand is to be a man who, “knows more deeply and originally than the average man, loves more profoundly and authentically, wills more clearly and correctly than the others, and makes full use of his freedom…”1 In other words, a normal man is a virtuous man, a religious man, a free man. While an average man is enslaved by conformity to contemporary norms; a vicious or incontinent man, a man who has forsaken Christ.
So this is what one should mean when they seek to be normal, or when they seek for others to be normal. Not a contemporaneous conformist, or a weak-willed automaton, but rather someone who does not fear to be seen as abnormal (by the world’s standards) by means of their virtue and religion.
In certain Catholic circles calling others to normalcy usually means calling others to fit more readily into this fallen world. The theory I hold for this is simply because the people asking their brethren to be normal are actually just embarrassed to be Catholic. They truly are apologetic, in the sense that they must apologize to anyone who finds outwards displays of religiosity in bad taste.
When we, as Catholics, call others to normalcy the intention behind such a call should be the same as if we were to call them to virtue, or freedom (in Christ). Most certainly not in a way that suggests we want to be seen as another cog in the secular machine. And why is this so important? Because right now, it is normal to support abortions, it is normal to spend your Sundays watching 10 hours of football, it is normal to treat the faith like a joke, it is normal to spend your money and time on destructive behaviors like alcoholism and sports betting. This is the “normal” seen through the eyes of the average.
We are not made to be the average man, but to be renewed by Christ; to take our eyes off of the ground and to look up into the sky.
So when you sit there pondering on what normalcy is, or you find yourself wishing others to be normal, ask yourself: what do you mean by normal? Because if what you are actually asking people to do is to be average, then you are the one who is not normal.
There is much more that could be said on this topic, and I do highly recommend picking up and reading Liturgy and Personality, but for the sake of this post, we will leave it at this:
And be not conformed to this world; but be reformed in the newness of your mind, that you may prove what is the good, and the acceptable, and the perfect will of God.2
Dietrich von Hildebrand, Liturgy and Personality, (Manchester, NH: Sophia Institute Press, 1993), 20
Douay-Rheims 1899 American Edition, (1899), Rom. 12:2